For me, the entire concept of a birthday brings about a means for reflection. I am a little older, a little wiser, but somehow still the same person I’ve always been. When I was little I thought that when I turned 18 or 19 that I would somehow be granted this massive amount of information. My eyes would be opened to see the revelations that had been sitting under my nose all those years, like I would now be included in all the stories and life lessons that only adults knew. It’s taken me a year since 18 to realize that there is no big book of adulthood and that I have to learn all those lessons myself. I am only as young as I feel and I never have to grow old and be boring and angry (not that there’s a correlation between old people and angry people) if I don’t want to. I can be whoever I want to be. I never thought I would live to see the day that I would get to go to college and study whatever I wanted, I am lucky enough to have supportive parents that let me lead my own life.
My mom has always impressed upon me that it is better to do something constructive with my time instead of playing video games or doing drugs or having superfluous babies. She basically drilled it into my head until it made sense, but now that I have found a hobby, a point of focus, something to occupy time with, I see the point. It’s not cool to do drugs and alcohol and waste away your life. What’s cool is finding something that you like to do and putting all your energy towards goals that you set for yourself. I’ve always been extremely persistent and unshakeable and a bit of a perfectionist when it comes to the things that I want to achieve in my life and as long as I can be who I want to be and do what I want to do then I am content. There’s no one that I have to be better than. There’s no competition. There’s only me.
A big, huge thank you to everyone who wished me a happy birthday today.